omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
