I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
