Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
