her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
