Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
