New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked at my own cervix.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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