Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
