FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
