Barsexuality is the new black.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
