C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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