I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
