Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
