so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
