Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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