He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
