Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
