walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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