i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
