The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
