you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Found the puke drawer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
