How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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