Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
