god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
