remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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