Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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