what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
