Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
