hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
