My hand turned me down
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
