you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
