this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You dont lie about slip and slides
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
