nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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