He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
