oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
