just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
