hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
