Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We need to rekindle our bromance
The beer is more important than you right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
as a side note pls kill me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
