I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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