i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
