he puts the penis in happiness.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
