I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
