i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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