worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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