how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
