Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
