i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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