Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So many bounce houses so little time
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
