I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
