i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
