so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
