matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
