i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
3pm strippers are depressing
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
