He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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